On Weather

People always complain about the weather, no matter what it's like outside.  Cold, hot, humid, rainy, whatever it is, there's just someone who's going to complain.

I guess I can understand why they're complaining.  Hell, I don't like hot and humid weather.  It makes me sticky with sweat.  It's gross, I'll admit.

But when people complain about the "gloomy" clouds? Aww hell nawwh. (How was that for ghetto talk?)

Anyway, I don't understand it.  To me, the gloomy, gray clouds are so...beautiful.  I don't think that most people understand what makes them so.

For me, they bring back a flood of memories.  Some bad, like the night I almost committed suicide.  I'm not quite sure why it reminds me of that,  because it was actually, a very clear night (read my other blog for the story on that - it's called "Suicidium").  It also reminds me of other times, such as walking in the rain with my ex, hand in hand.  At the time, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, holding hands with someone I dearly loved.  But now, it isn't the most pleasant of memories.  

But is also reminds me of very comforting memories, such as swimming in the rain when I was but a little girl.  And, it even reminds me of a game I used to play when I was in junior high.  And that reminds me of my first love, and it makes me want to talk about life, the way he and I used to every night.  I look back, and when I think about those times, I get so overwhelmed with joy and sadness.  He was a truly great person.  I e-mailed him multiple times...until he eventually stopped responding.  He even un-friended me on facebook, a long while back.  I don't know why, but sometimes I really wish we had still kept in touch.  No, I don't love him anymore, but part of me wishes I could still talk to him every night, like the old days.  Part of me longs for...that kind of friendship again.  Another part of me, is still angry at him.  I told him everything, and the night after he said he didn't love me, I went into my room and cried for who knows how long.

But, that aside, it also brings about many inspirational thoughts.  It makes me want to just lie in my room, and write songs or poetry.  The clouds just make me...want to wander about life, and question myself on who I really am.  I get so many ideas for my writing when it's gloomy.

And, despite most people, the clouds make me...happy.  Strange?  Not to me.  Since I can remember, I've always liked the cloudy weather.  Something about it soothes me, and helps me release stress.

And y'know what?  All that came out just by thinking and looking out at the clouds.

I hope, that maybe I changed the way you think about clouds, now...

-Jen